The Driveway

So we bought this little place at Indian Lake. It was a vacation house or a weekend getaway for most if not all of the people who owned it before. That means that the equipment in the house did not get used a lot and most of it is on the inexpensive side. We’re putting a lot of stress on the house’s systems. They haven’t failed yet but I have a feeling deep in my arthritic bones that a repair storm is on the way. We’ll get them upgraded as time and funds permit. I’d fix stuff myself but I don’t have the handyman gene. Hiring someone to fix something I tried to fix is usually more expensive than if I just hired it done in the first place.

But one thing that needed to be done right away is a driveway. I can do that. I can do manual labor (mostly). If it doesn’t have to be perfect, I’m your guy.

In the past, I suspect that most of the time only one car was parked here.  There was just enough gravel left one spot to park a single car. Since we have two vehicles I ended up parking on the grass. Well it was grass until I started parking on it in the snow, ice, and rain. Then it turned into a rut-filled muddy mess. That does wonders for your shoes and the porch and the carpet.

What we really wanted was a driveway on which you can park 2 cars deep and 2 cars wide. That means it’s going to be long and wide. And that means a lot of gravel and we needed a way to keep it just on the driveway. Manual labor was in the forecast with a 100% chance of foul language with a butt load of muttering to myself and arms and legs chocked full of sore muscles.

So a few weeks ago we had 15 tons of gravel with crushed stone delivered…for starters. Since I still have a tractor, Ol’ Dan, with a frontend loader and a blade, I moved the gravel around and leveled it out. Easy peasy right? The trouble was the area was super wet and soft. I mashed a lot of that gravel into the mud. But I got it done. Now the driveway was soft with wet gravel and gravel dust. Not my best job but way better than what it was.

My excellent half and I decided that we needed a way to contain the gravel to just the driveway. The part of the driveway furthest from the road has about an 18-24 inch drop.

Our initial thoughts were to level the low end to match the height of the road by building a retaining wall. We both balked at the cost as well as the time and material it would take. I was thinking about my aching back and the abuse my joints would take. And me being the anti-handyman, I figured I would probably over engineer the damn thing to make sure I would not have to pay someone to fix the mess it would make if it failed. My motto is never use one nail when three will do.

Dirty Harry Life Tip: A man’s got to know his limitations.

Then we started looking at railroad ties. She loves them and while I am not averse to them I think they are rather unsightly. The pros are they are heavy and last a long time. The cons are they are really heavy and we would have a lot of difficulty moving them around. Not to mention they are a little expensive. We discarded that idea after much discussion.

We finally settled on landscape timbers. Cheapish, easy to handle, easy to cut, and would do the job just fine. We decided to make the edge 6-9 inches high (2-3 landscape timbers) all the way around.

Me being who I am, I figured that we ought to hold things in place with ½” rebar because why would I do anything else. That means a 10 pound sledge hammer and I are going to get acquainted – there ain’t gonna be any social distancing. And, because of the aforementioned nail rule and the softness of the ground I figured that some spots were going to need rebar 4’ long while other spots would only need rebar 1½’ long.

Now I have to get into the shed to get some tools. If you read about the move, you know that I packed that shed tighter than a ticks ass. And of course the tools I need at all the way in the back. So I unpack half the shed, get the tools and then repack the shed.

So the day comes where we start to put it all together. We get the timbers set and start drilling holes. Then it comes time to pound rebar into the ground. The short ones are fairly easy but those 4 footers are a Pain. In. The. Ass. Smack it with that sledge hammer and the thing wobbles like a drunk on nickel night at the bar. And, for every solid smack, I miss two or three. I have a bum ticker and even bummier elbow and shoulder joints. After I drove a couple of the 4 footers and a couple of short ones, I am out of breath and my joints are screaming so I sit my old butt down and my excellent half picks up the sledge and takes a few swings. I think the swing count was six or seven but only a couple actually connected but, looking on the bright side, that was two hits I did not have to do. She was laughing at me for missing so much…she found out that it was harder than it looks. I drove in a couple more long ones and I was done for the day.

The next day I finished up the by driving in 2 or 3 long ones and a couple of short ones. My joints were mightily displeased with my efforts so I hit the Ibuprofen bottle

We had another 15 tons of gravel delivered. The ground was dryish so Ol’ Dan and I moved that gravel around pretty easily. Between Ol’ Dan and a hand rake we have a driveway that will last for 10-15 years. There’s enough room to park 4 cars or a 32’ trailer and 2 cars. And no more muddy shoes. But I need a new bottle of Advil.